One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
In just a little under two weeks, students will be coming back to my classroom after a summer that has been uncertain with regards to the pandemic, and a previous school year that changed almost every paradigm that I am aware of in terms of teaching, performing, and sharing music. While my body may be rested from the summer intermission, I’m not quite sure my psyche is. I am positive that I am not alone in this. Throughout these last few months my emotions have ranged from thankfulness for surviving the school year, encouragement at the advances in science to help us contain this pandemic, cautious optimism that this school year will be much different than last year, to now a steel-eyed acceptance that many of the protocols in place last year will be around this year due to the surprising constitution of this virus.
I think we can almost all agree that during the last academic year, all of us felt depleted in some way or another. Whether that be the frustration of trying to create a curriculum on the fly with no paradigm to consult, exhaustion at caring for our students, and our families, and ourselves, self-doubt at our abilities as effective teachers and artists, and the constant worry of the number of students lost on our watch at a time when many school districts continue to undervalue what we do. In full disclosure – I have experienced ALL of these emotions, and many more.
In spite of these struggles, I am reminded of a story that a colleague shared with me many years ago about a Cherokee elder and his son (see above). Over the years, I have come back to this narrative many times during times in my life where my frustration over certain events outweighed the malnourished inner strength I needed to find an equitable solution. I would argue that now, more than ever, we must feed our good wolf to be source of compassion, creativity, artistry, quiet strength, resilience, and even sanctuary for our students, our friends, our family, and most importantly, ourselves. We cannot give away what we do not possess, so making these investments in ourselves is the first step towards meeting the inevitable professional challenges that we will face during our careers.
Admittedly, it would be very presumptuous of me to tell you how to feed your good wolf. So, I am happy to share here how I intend to feed my good wolf this year, and would love to hear your ideas as well!
Joy
Rediscover and/or renew your love of making music. For most of us, we began to fall in love with music with the feeling we got when we were young, and I feel it is important to maintain this relationship throughout our lives. When I got married, some of the best advice I got was, “Never stop dating your wife.” I think this is true of music as well. If we can continue to renew why we fell in love with music in the first place, it becomes easier to share this love with others.
Continue to listen and watch performances/repertoire that inspires you, as well as seek out new music for your classroom and ensembles. The arts have shown us time and time again that they reflect the times that they exist in, and I have no doubt that these challenging times will be a crucible for creativity.
Peace
I have discussed self-care before in the column, and also how I am not so good at it! However, it has become apparent to me the longer I teach that I need to have those moments during the day to center myself, and remind me that the work I do as a music teacher helps the human condition. I am reminded of a conversation I had with a colleague many years ago as I was finishing my dissertation. She told me that I needed to be a bit selfish with my time to get this done, and that it was ok to do so. I have tried to heed that advice (as best I can!) to find those moments to refresh, renew, and recharge.
Love
Find time to fall in love with music every day – I’m serious! Admittedly, this is much harder said than done. The responsibilities, stresses, and pressures of our jobs make this very difficult. However, if we can find that one moment during each day that reminds us what we do, we can not only keep our wolf fed, we can share that food with the students that we teach.
Hope
As our country slowly recovers from this pandemic and the lingering affects to school age children from remote education, I remain very hopeful that the arts will find new importance, meaning, and acceptance as an academic discipline and vehicle for personal development and social change. Since the beginning of the pandemic, there has been much discussion about the role of Social Emotional Learning (SEL) as a critical pathway to meet the needs of our children as they reenter our schools. Music provides the perfect template for this paradigm, and I truly believe that as we come out of this pandemic, the arts are going to lead the way.
Serenity
One of the greatest lessons that I have personally learned from the pandemic, is that there are some things that cannot be changed, no matter how much I or others want them to. This lesson has provided me with many opportunities to practice serenity, acceptance, and a calm place to think. However, serenity does not mean surrender. Serenity eventually leads to possibility and creativity – presenting options for problem solving that we might have not considered.
Humility, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy
As I think about these above pathways to enriching and sustaining the most positive parts of ourselves, I am reminded of how lucky I am to have had such incredible models in my life. I have found inspiration for all of these in my parents, sister, wife, son, extended family, friends, colleagues, and my students. One of my favorite quotes by Richard Bach comes from his book “Illusions”. He says that “Rarely do members of the same family grow up under the same roof.” For all of us as music teachers, I believe that this is true, which means that finding inspiration is often closer than we think.
Generosity
If you talk to any music teacher, and ask them what their must valuable resource is, it wouldn’t surprise me if time was the most popular answer. For those of us in education, we know that teaching is a lifestyle instead of a profession. Things can get so crazy that we sometimes feel guilty spending time on ourselves and others. I have found that sometimes taking the smallest amount of time away from our tasks sometimes pay the biggest dividends. Find those moments to spend your time on yourself and others – you’ll be glad you did.
Truth and Compassion
Speaking the truth can undoubtedly be a difficult exercise. I am reminded of the following quote by Harry S. Truman: “I don’t give them Hell. I just told the truth about them, and they thought it was Hell.” This is particularly true when we need to be honest with ourselves when we have fallen short of the standard that we have set for ourselves. I have spoken before in this column about the dangers of perfection and envy to music teachers, and how we have to be careful that we do not engage in harmful self-talk when evaluating ourselves. By combining truth and compassion, we can be discerning without be abusive. Once we are able to that with ourselves, we can do that with our students, creating positive and nurturing interactions with our students.
Faith
In a non-ecumenical sense, faith means “complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” As we continue through these strange times, I have an unwavering faith that our art form is not only going to survive – it is going thrive and lead the way forward towards bringing people together. I have had the awesome opportunity to play a few concerts this past spring and summer as the country opened back up, and the looks on people’s faces as they heard live music again was nothing short of breathtaking. Sheer joy doesn’t even begin to describe it! That’s why I believe that one student at a time, one rehearsal at a time, and one concert at a time, that music will remind of us of our shared humanity and that it has an enduring power to change and enrich our lives.
Go out and have a great school year!!!
